30 Jun 4705 - Live Free, Die Hard, or Compromise
For once, I acted like I'm not a totally sedentary gourmand for a Friday
night. I called Gibbs and called upon Dan, and we watched Die Hard: With a
Vengeance at the house before going to get Alex and going to Kingstowne 16
to see Live Free or Die Hard.
The movie was no Die Hard 3. I would put it above one and below three in the
quality ranking. The banter was good, the characters were great (with some
exceptions) and the plot was a serviceable action movie plot. All law
enforcement was feckless in the face of the crisis, except for McLane, of
course, who's nigh invulnerability to death allowed him once again to get beat
up for ninety minutes until he finally wins. McLane is slick and creative, and
the bad guy is a mastermind, but the law is collectively idiotic, moreso than
usual in a Die Hard movie. No sir, I didn't like it. They were just a touch too
idiotic for me to believe that they got those jobs in the first place. Tuvoc
shows up, though, which is cool.
What else? Oh, right, the one stupid or otherwise not believable character: Mai.
Mai is the bad guy's girlfriend, and is just a bad fit for the part. The
character is somewhere between IT guy and CS guy on the spectrum of henching
(where CS guy henching means using guns instead of computer hardware, although
it doesn't exclude such), and for some reason, goes in place of other,
equally competent henchman to take down one of the villain's targets just so
McLane can show up and have an absurdly elaborate fight scene.
Now, that part is okay, and the fact that she's probably 102lbs and decent at
kung fu was also okay, and having McLane get the villain's girl to get his goat
was a forced-but-good plot point, but why the hell does she last so long?
Seriously, she's made of marshmallow and darksteel! I would have even believed
the character had someone sturdier-looking been cast for the part, but widening
lens tricks or no, she looks pretty flimsy compared to what all happens. That
failing makes the whole buildup to it seem pointless and bitches the moment.
Cast a finer fitting femme fatale, and this movie could be better than the
third.
We got back and I found out that the plan to get Libby in the door without
inviting others had worked, except that when you're here alone the house is
pretty creepy, and she bugged out and left, despite her mixed feelings of
fatigue and queasiness from her food (or lack thereof) in the day. Also it was
about midnight. But come on, I was like 30 minutes out.
You can't wait in a creepy, cold, haunted house for thirty minutes? Look, I keep
the ghosts around as a ward, but turn on some lights and put a dvd on the telly
or something next time. Naturally I'll feel a little bummed if she got in a
crash and died. It would be a good death, though. Probably quick.
I admit I keep the place creepy.
An idea had been bugging me for awhile, and since I had set out to accomplish
another idea that had been bugging me for awhile today, I thought I would finish
this one too as a kind of ritualistic creative expulsion. In the Venture Bros:
Henchman 24 (or 21, I get them mixed up) springs into Dr. Killinger's room at
night and shoots toy web-fluid at the magic murder bag. When the guards catch
him, he starts decrying Killinger, saying "Semper fidelis tyrannosaurus," which
means, as Killinger points out "always faithful terrible lizard." You should
watch the episode.
So I had to do it:

Remember, compromise is the essence of diplomacy, and diplomacy is the
cornerstone of love. Sweet looo~oove.
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