18 Jun 4705 - The Humor Is Salvation

I almost forgot about that wonderful phone call.

Being here at the desk for the second time since summer term started reminded me of what it was like. All the senior staff is off at lunch because they're on salary and therefore don't have to work things like hours. Lunch today is Carlos O'Kelley's, which I'm told is Mexican and not Irish food. I guess the tiebreaker is supposed to be the wee hot pepper they use for one of the apostrophes. I don't get the desk as much because of an aspect that I'm still not allowed to mention.

It is warmer back here, and more private. Usually more comfortable thus, but for the phone!

Today's calls have been benign. There was a call I took the other day not because I was behind the desk, but because another had left it temporarily and I was also on staff for the day (meaning it must have been Thursday that this happened) and the phone rang and I went to answer it.

All the caller wanted, was the moon. I thought it would be mundane enough. The faculty wanted a camera, and apparently also wanted to cut me off a lot.
Good, we have one digital video camera that we can loan to faculty if you-
Right, but I want to know what I should have for the camera.
Okay, well you're going to need your own media because we don't supply-
Media? What do you mean media?
Our camera accepts miniDV disks to record video and audio information.
So I need some DVDs?
Perhaps later, but before that you want miniDV disks, which look like VHS tapes but smaller.
But that technology has been around for a long time, I thought this was something newer I would be using?
I assure you miniDVs are fairly new. You may be thinking of camcorder tapes, which look similar and have been around for maybe 20 years.
Oh, right. So I need miniDVs. How much are those?
You can get them at most retail stores, a Target or BestBuy for instance, and spend maybe $25 on all the media you need.

And that was the fun part of the conversation. The caller systematically stripped away any presumption I had about her knowing what the hell she was talking about, although I should have swept it all away when she both wanted to check out our camera and had no idea what miniDVs were or what "recording media" meant. We went through the whole process, how much money for how much digital tape, hours of battery or recording life, lenses, angles, budget, training, downloading, editing. Maybe I should clarify.
My lab doesn't train people to use the camera. We have one, and we lend it, and that's all. You have to know your shit. We usually know who we're dealing with as soon as any asks, because the first thing a smartie asks for is the tripod that goes with the thing. Anyone who is good with the camera already knows about what media they need, hours of recording time they're capturing, and what editing software and equipment they will use, so all that's left is making sure the shot is steady and the lens-cap off.

My one call for the day, and it's the long one. I would almost say it was staged, except no one I know could get that good an actress on for a prank. Also it would be ridiculous. It was pretty ridiculous as a fact rather than a farce anyway, but at that I could laugh, and did. Not so much at the caller's ignorance, which was substantial, but at the whole effect. One lengthy and arduous call that takes me to commercial websites to help check prices is an inherently funny thing for what I do. I'm the best customer service line on the planet, clearly.

Humor will get you through the Fantastic Four movie in the same way. So there's a Silver Surfer now. Go to it if you want to get out of the heat and have a laugh and see cool special effects. I, for one, want a screen capture of a nebulous mass of swirling galactic force looming over poor planet earth with a hungry look to it. That made the movie for me. Also Surfer cutting big holes in the Earth so Galactus can go space bowling with Cthulhu or something. Funny stuff.

I will end you with what we know of Galactus from this movie:

Galactus is big and old, as any space-creature or semi-deific being of note ought be.
Galactus is a mass of gas, swirling and pulsating. He has tornado-like tendrils that he uses to grip planets to eat them. Excellent.
He eats hot planets that are rich in man-meat. Not organic life or thermal significance, otherwise why not eat the sun instead?
Silver Surfer is his herald because Galactus is drawn to the board, which is the power.
Galactus is a chump who goes out like a light.
Galactus is lame in the villain department.

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