Say hello to iToast.
Apple's new toaster is compatible with OSX architecture, and synchs with your ipod and iphone.
iToast boasts several politically liberal features:
- Digital readout of toast darkness index and playlist editor
- iPod controls for user friendliness
- Only two cables*
- Built-in speakers, earbuds, wifi connection, and bagel slicer
- Bluetooth enabled
- 401k compliant
- ESRB rated
- FCC licenced
A soundbyte taken from apple customer service days after the release of the iToast:
- Customer service, how may I help you?
- Oh, I uploaded my entire song list from my nano, and my iToast is supposed to have an entire extra gig of space for music on it, right, but I have it on shuffle, like, whole-song-list-shuffle.
- Yes, how many songs are we talking about?
- Only a thousand or so, but here's the thing, it keeps coming up with Nightwish and Pulp, and that clip I have from Fargo.
- What's that you have in the background right now?
- Oh, that's Lady Cadaver, they're from Cambridge and...
- I think I understand the problem, ma'am. There has already been a recall issued for this bug. The same dial controls the volume and playlist cursor that controls the toast darkness. I'm guessing you're also having trouble with the toast?
-Yeah, I can't get it to come out dark enough.
- mm-hmm, see, the toaster has your music set to dark and your toast on shuffle.
- I didn't know you could set music to dark.
- One of the newer features, thematic control. A minor programming error has this crossed with the toast darkness, so when it looks like you're setting toast to dark, you're setting music to dark, and when you change volume levels, it tries to set the toast to loud or quiet.
- I see. What happens then?
- Sometimes the itoast can experience a severe hardware malfunction. I'll direct you to our recall office so we can get you a replacement. Please unplug the toaster and stay well away from it until...
- Woah, what?
- There have already been several iToast-related deaths. It's been all over the news. I mean, where do you get your news?
- Oh, I was waiting for the podcast to come up on the shuffle.
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