Shower Fairy

What Adds a Little Grip

I didn't know Derek very well, so when he stood outside the door to my suite looking at me, I thought maybe he wanted to borrow my vacuum again or ask for some sugar to make cookies. I would even have given him lemon juice. There he stood, unsure of how to ask me something.

"Well, come on in."
"Yeah. Thanks."
He sauntered in with a backpack in one hand, maybe he had come back from class?
"How have you been?"
"Is your bathroom free?"
So he had a better reason for being awkward at my doorstep than just general awkwardness around girls, I really don't know where the hell he got that question.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"I mean your bathroom. How is it?"
Alright, so he had lost a bet. I'm sure his roommates had a walkie-talkie in the bag, and one of them was going to spring out of nowhere and take a picture of him in a few seconds when he had done something really humiliating. They played hold-em all the time, so he had probably run out of money and had to pay with dignity. I don't know whether I should play along, take pity on him, or ask him to leave.
"The bathroom is right behind you. You live below me, right? All these suites have the same layout."
"Yes, but the others aren't home. You're the last one I could turn to."
Oh shit. So this was some crazy stunt of his and I would have to scream loud enough for the next building to hear me if I wanted help? Why couldn't it be his hot roomie pulling some romantic stunt, instead of this homely lout about to pounce? He looks kinda shrimpy for a guy, maybe I would be able to hit him with the lamp before he got too close. Last one he could turn to? Bathroom? What the hell?
"Last one you can turn to?"
"Yes. your bathroom is free. I need to take a shower and my roommate just cleaned in there, so I would probably asphyxiate before getting clean if I used it, and I really feel funky and have an interview this afternoon so I can't wait until the fumes are gone."

I was half relieved and half bewildered. Between that remained the good judgment enough to allow him to use my shower, and I'm sure its one of the worst decisions of my life, but hey, my roomies and I are always telling each other that we need to be more social, especially with our neighbors, so why not? Anyway its not like Cindy minds having a guy in the shower. I was feeling better and better about my decision as I heard the soothing water noise of the shower running. Derek started to sing, too. I couldn't make out what he was singing, but it sounded pretty good. I thought maybe "homely" was a little too strong a word for Derek. Ula came in after a few minutes.

"Hi-eee"
"Hi, Ula. Did you have a good practice?"
"Ugh. I didn't run so well today. That Jen girl beat me aga-- Did Cindy get back before me?"
"Huh? Oh. No that's Derek in the shower."
Oh, man, I forgot that Ula and Cindy had cross-country practice this morning. Ula made it back first, and she wants to shower off before Cindy gets back, except I let Derek use our shower and now Ula is going to kill me because she has to smell like a sweaty beast for another twenty minutes and maybe even longer because she has to get lunch and then go to CAD class where she wants to impress her group members only now they're going to think they go to a zoo. Then she'll come back even more zoo-smelling and kill me because I let Derek use the shower.
"Derek is one of the kids from downstairs?"
"Yeah. He came here a few minutes ago and asked to use the shower."
"And you let him? Why the hell did you let him?"
"He can't use his because it smells like bleach. Some of the fumes came with him and I had temporary brain damage, so I gave in to his crazy request without a second thought."
Brain damage is a wonderful tool for building relationships. That's right, claim innocence. I wonder which roommate of Derek's had used the bleach. Ula already didn't like Dan, so maybe with my excuse there I was unintentionally increasing Ula's Dan-hatred. She looks like she's about ready to boil over on me, then Derek wouldn't be the only one in hot water.
"Do you know how much longer he'll be in there?"
"I dunno. He probably will keep it shorter than his usual because he's borrowing the space."
"Guess."
"Fifteen more minutes."
That was what she wanted to hear. Derek is notorious for taking really long showers, and what with his cozy singing in there, Ula probably knows my guess was a lie that she wanted to hear and that my real guess would be that he's going to be in there for another hour. Why the hell did I let Derek use my shower? Our shower, I mean. Ula's calming down a little, maybe she won't mind as long as he's not in there for too much longer. I need a sandwich.
"Hey fix me one while I change."
"You're not going to wait to change?"
"Nah, forget it. I can wait until after CAD class. PB and cheese please."
"I'll make yours turkey with extra onions so your breath stinks too."
Maybe that's not what she needs to hear right now. If she storms out of the room right now and yells at me I will have flipped her. If she rolls her eyes and grunts something inaudible she will have taken my joke. If--

I was fixing her sandwich right after mine, and I heard a noise that sounded like someone dropping a ten gallon ice cream bucket full of bouncy balls onto pavement in the next room. Ula peeped from her doorway with a shocked look on her face, which I'm sure had nothing on my face when I finally got into the bathroom. The lock was the kind you could fool open with a screwdriver, and anyway I'm a Civ-E, right? I banged on the door and yelled. Nothing. Running water, now a razzing sound. I got my pick and opened the door, and through the corner of the shower curtain I could see red.

When the paramedics came, I was crying on the couch. I didn't know what to do. All I can remember thinking was panic. Then I would replay his knocking on the door until my opening the door again and again and again and Oh My God, why did Derek have to slip in my shower? I heard later that had died from massive head trauma. What can I say to his parents?

'How about begging their forgiveness for murdering their son?
What? I don't understand? I didn't--
'You're very creative. You don't see that in many Civil Engineering students. But what you do see in a lot of them is the kind of ingenuity it would take to make the murder look like a simple accident.
But...I don't...You're not making any sense. What does my major have to do with this? I've answered all of your questions about that afternoon, detective, and I think I've been very good about keeping my head while trying to recount all of this.
'You certainly did keep your head. I haven't seen anything like it in my whole career. Just a few more questions: what is this?
That's a picture my shower.
'Oh. How do you know it's yours?
You can see the little fairy on the bottom. It's one of those grippy-stickers you put in bathtubs for little kids. We got it on a shopping run because Cindy thought it was cute, and it was her turn to buy and--
'And I've been talking to some of my friends in the lab. One of them, a physical therapist, tells me that for Derek's body to have fallen and his head to hit against your shower-rod like that, he would have had to slip right on that fairy. You look puzzled, so maybe this letter I have will make you see things clearly:
"I know you've been watching me close ever since the party so I'm going to come out and tell you that I've been seeing other girls. Christa is great. You could learn a thing or two from...
'And on and on it goes. I thought you might not recognize it on paper, so I decided to read some to you. This was found in your e-mail, dated two days prior to his death. It was clever how you timed everything. It was clever how you removed the shower rod and used it to kill him to make it look like an accident. It was clever how you probably got him to bend over and pick something up for you even though he had just broken up with you in an e-mail. He was spineless, and you knew he had to die. It was all very clever, but was it worth it? Was it worth killing him?
I want a lawyer in here.
'That's the first sensible thing you've said to me. Just so you know, I got you. You might avoid the death penalty, but personally I doubt it. If it had been the next day, you might get out of first degree based on your still being overwhelmed with rage and emotion. But two whole days? No. You had a day to writhe and a day to calculate. I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Derek Elliot.