OPERATION: Edify

Concerning the Lauren Slater article in the February 2006 issue of National Geographic "Love":

Prologue:
At the outset I apologize to the author of the article. It is a good thing to be published, I know, and I would be upset if someone came along and shot every paragraph of it full of holes, as this is what I must do now. Some of the information presented in the story is useful, but the net effect is terribly destructive and must be quashed. Furthermore, I will try to keep the criticisms to the article itself, even though many of the passages invite savage attacks on the author herself. That is the one bait I will not take. Every other aspect is pertinent, and I will destroy this paper from all sides all at once.

Overview:
The article is titled several different ways, using the all-too-common system of making you search around the damn magazine before you find what you want, peering past advertisements. This is a mark against the article, as to be surrounded by gaudy trash advertisements could never be a mark for. The article is called "True Love" or "Love: the chemical reaction" or has no title at all. It is difficult to say, and makes the reader at the outset confused. Am I reading a title, or are all these markings a kind of preamble to it? Does it really have a title at all? I think it doesn't. No dishonest thing on Earth is content with only a single name to tell to people, nor a single name to have for itself. The overall arrangement is adequate for a college-level short essay, relying on misplaced page-size photographs to meet the page count requirement that, perhaps, the magazine itself has found its articles ought to be to keep the reader as interested as possible while seeing as many of the supporting ads as possible. Just a guess. The pictures are certainly next door to irrelevant, as in the context of the article nearly the opposite of the theme is going on. The article will present, for example, a picture of newlyweds around a section about how love fades, as if this series of shots is only a burlesque of the romantic process to be mocked. It is generally not sporting to mock pictures of people. Mock the people while they can hear you. Keep your slights out of print. This would have been best done by axing the silly photos, but then, why have a color magazine? Or a magazine article at all for that matter: Another annoying feature is the need to feel journalistic by printing excerpts from the article at the heading of each page that counters a picture. This would be a great tool for visual balance and design, except neither the picture nor the excerpt is useful. Moreover, the particular excerpts chosen have the damnable quality of instilling alarm in the skimmer, where the reader finds this alarm reduced by a greater understanding of the context of the excerpt. Even with that understanding these ominous headings get read and repeated in your head again and again as you go, becoming the slogans with which you contemplate the article. It is this beat that completes the foul trap of the whole piece, each paragraph offering between mild sedative and harsh stimulant of the idea. This makes the whole article feel as though it is trying to bore its way into the psyche of any reader and paralyze thoughts of love as a transcendental ideal or even positive good.

Page by Page:
  34. From the very beginning, Slater places the reader in her shoes by reciting personal experiences. This rhetorical tool finds good use in articles about life-threatening survival experiences, fox-hunts, mystery novels, and epic science fiction. There is nothing at all wrong with the tool, and even in the context of an essay can provide substantial emotional underpinning, lending an understanding of the intended tone. It rounds out a piece. Slater uses the tool poorly throughout, as on article page 34. Verisimilitude, indeed trust in the narrative is needed and missing: Slater's proclaimed "I am a modest person" falls flat. Modesty didn't forbid her to unflinchingly expose herself to a professional tattoo artist, or from getting the henna, or from telling a million people all about it. What exactly does modesty forbid her from doing? Going further along in the story than her husband "newly wed one" undressing her, which was, at that, a modest feat. Finishing the intro with the vague "I blushed, and we began" cements the confusion. Clearly she's not going to tell us any more about that night, or else the article would have been found in a Playboy instead of a National Geographic. More is the pity, as perhaps that would have been a worthy read: a newly wed bride speaking from personal experience about the intimacies of honeymoon night would at least have the stamp of solid journalism: write what you know. Instead we have a chimera of cultural puerility and scientific misunderstanding, inbred with poor writing.

  35. The personal narrative is actually not bad, even readable until Slater tries to make a segue into the focus of the article. The first attempt is at the top of page 35, right after recanting her emotional baggage over the stresses of everyday married life. Slater flips to the general with casuistic alacrity: "Does passion necessarily diminish over time?" , "Can a marriage be good when Eros is replaced with friendship..." Can I have a reason why you're telling me all of this? Instead of reason, the reader finds flowery elaboration of the baggage, leading to a charming mixed-metaphor for romantic love that I shall piece together along the way. The bulk happens on 35, showing us that love is little imps that tie a tight knot that is marriage until it is frayed, and that Big Bird is one of these imps. Watch out for the rest of this metaphor. As for the writing, omitting the second paragraph of 35 "Let me be clear..." would help the flow of the article much without losing needed information. I will let you be clear, if only I could. Instead the reader is thrown back into the vague and general, faced with Dracula and the Flintstones, and a general statement that sounds more like a personal recitation than the opening does:

    "...All is gravel and somewhat silly, the song so familiar you can't stop singing it, and when you do, the emptiness is almost unbearable."

This sounds more like a person posing a hypothetical question about an anonymous third party who is actually the poser. For this reason, the article thereafter makes far more sense if the reader replaces instances of the impersonal with the personal identifier: replace "we" and "you" with "I." This montage is also our introduction to the first scientist called to light, as well as a personal introduction that makes the Anthropologist Helen Fisher out to be a madam. Maybe that description is appropriate. My guess is not. The segue is lost on me, but I'm not a very clever person. Finally ready to quote Fisher, Slater shows poor grip of flow and even tense, the effect is to shock the reader once Fisher starts in about orgasms as a scientific measurement. Further on "'madly in love'" is put in quotes, and therefore must be a scientific or technical term, doubtless thanks to the MRI people. At last the reader discovers Slater's intent with mentioning the Anthropologist at all, showing one of a handful interested in linking the psychological behavior of attraction with the measurable cognitive phenomenon underlying it. This is a touchy subject and needs a little explanation:

It is easy to read about brain surgery and worry that mind control isn't far behind. Such a leap is unwarranted and dangerous. Cognitive Neuroscientists, like the above Anthropologist doubtless also is, are interested in the biology of the mind, and spend toilsome days mapping and charting and measuring. Not meddling. Fisher is as interested in developing a love philter as in leaping from her penthouse. This caveat goes once again for all the other instances of neuroscience, and while Slater lends to the suspicion that the scientists are out for your soul, a sapient reader will not take the leg-up.

The brain regions that Slater mentions regarding Fisher's research deserve a little more light than they're given: the ventral tegmental area I think refers to the ventral lateral prefrontal cortex. I could not find her term in my books. The VLPFC is involved in some executive functions and memory, is near the hippocampus toward the midbrain, in front of the central sulcus and below the prefrontal cortex. I am not surprised that this area lit up when patients were shown pictures of their lovers. The caudate nucleus is part of the basal ganglia in the midbrain, has weak input functions, routes some motor signals and lights up for spontaneous facial expression. Again no surprises. As for tracing the exact chemical pathways responsible, no competent neuroscientist would try it with anything more complicated than a lobster. By the way "'lit-up'" is another technical term.
As for the mention of dopamine, the neurotransmitter has a well-established role and a wide recognition. Parkinson's patients lack the neurotransmitter in a few key regions and as a result lose motor function. Heightened levels throughout the brain have been shown in schizophrenic patients. Plenty of history. This is not proof of anything, certainly not of the thesis Slater presents toward the end of the page, read as: Love stimulates the reception of dopamine in the right amount to the caudate nucleus, which creates intense energy to make one bold and active. The thesis does just as well without mention of the dopamine or caudate nucleus, and would instead drop the mask of authority presented when the terms are present. The terminal phrase "which sometime you survive, and sometimes you don't" could only possibly stimulate worry. Mention of the pitfalls surrounding the phenomenon of attraction jabs at the reader at intervals, and is out of place every single time.

  36-37: The first graphic. These people are enjoying themselves around Slater's discussion of her first childhood crush on a teacher. Again, I'm not clever enough to make the connection.

  38. The flip back to the personal narrative came out of the blue and offers little relevance. The segue finally leads Slater to link love and mental illness, which is a burlesque and melodramatic statement fit for the girl described and not the writer describing. The transition into the second scientist is particularly jarring. Slater stands behind the second scientist out to get you, a professor of psychiatry Donatella Marazziti, who allegedly became interested in exploring the similarities between love and OCD. The page brings out a lot of buzz words and little science, calling to light serotonin and some popular drugs used to alter its levels. "'Imbalance'" is our next technical term. Marazziti sounds like a qualified and competent scientist, and surely would not have condoned the translation of her work presented:

    "Translation: Love and OCD could have a similar chemical profile. Translation: Love and mental illness could be difficult to tell apart. Translation: Don't be a fool. Stay away."

To begin with, Marazziti discovered nothing of the kind. Correlation does not determine causation. Even within this translation, Slater drives from the almost sensible to the plain batty. Read it again and again until it sounds silly. Then you will have the correct tone. Slater is a poor translator. Love and mental illness do share a rare quality, though, each is baffling to psychologists. If the closest neuroscience can come to describing each is a little vague road mapping and mere mention of two neurotransmitters, then the mystery is still safe. A much simpler analysis would conclude that it is still safe to categorize love and mental illness under different headings, the former generally an adaptive trait, the latter generally a maladaptive trait. Drawing the conclusion from this part of the article that people on the medications mentioned experienced emotions only because of the drugs is illogical and dangerous and fully possible given the context and tone. This danger alone precludes Slater's article from credibility, as even good science bent on tearing apart people's lives does not garner praise.

  39-43: Dropped in graphics. The story around them is Slater's description of the psychoanalytical psychological orientation's viewpoint of connection-making. The appropriateness again eludes me.

  44. Slater picks up on the general narrative regarding the biological explanation of love as an adaptive trait. About half of this is adequate reading. A half-truth is a whole lie. The only valuable part on any level is the continuation of our mixed metaphor for love: Gorilla glue. This time its pretty gross, doubtless the intent. In starting a new heading, Slater is no longer content to stick to science for backup for poor translations and explanations. Instead, the reader is presented with a comparably elaborate story about how romance looks in non-western cultures. The tone is condescending and even vulgar. The effect is to rally culture adversity, while providing no explanation of context or control of topic. These pages in a thoroughly confusing article stand alone as baffling in the extreme.
  45. Finishing with the story, Slater flips back into the poor translation of science.
  46-47: In the middle of explaining a study of prairie voles and oxytocin levels, this picture of an annuated couple appears. I think they're portrayed because they're animals, or maybe because biologists tampered with their levels of oxytocin. Maybe I'm stumped for the third time.
  48. Now autism joins in without warning or consideration. Seems we're not content with only one kind of mental disorder as a foil for attraction, we need to include more without adequate comparison or justification. The reasoning seems to be that the more maladies mentioned bring more credibility to bear for the ideas presented. I am neither impressed nor fooled. For considerations of flow, omit the part about autism. The article will read the same, although I can't make it read well. Our running metaphor is now an acquired taste, peas in addition to everything else.
  The kissing school is the closest Slater comes to having a sound narrative underpinning: too bad it was cut so short. Too bad it was misplaced. I could have used knowledge of Slater's failure at the beginning of the article as to put the tenor of the argument in context. Hindsight says that the tone fits.
  49. As for the finisher with the game of stare-eyes, take this article with the turtle back to the sea. Let it float away.

I hope to have provided a suitable reading companion for a dangerous piece of literature. I hope to have taken the stinger off the edge of the argument presented therein. I hope to have entertained good humor, good science, and good culture. I hope to have defended the production of quality attraction through reasonable means, and aided an understanding of how the methods and qualities of love can be best studied. Mostly I hope I never have to meet Lauren Slater in life.

And in case you're wondering what she thinks love is, look no further than our running mixed metaphor: Love is an acquired taste for peas who are imps tightening the knot of your affection while tearing at its threads of togetherness, held in place by sticky gorilla glue of your strong love life's skin of a lice-ridden peasant. I love poetry.

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